DannyBoyinExile

The word “friend” is an electrically charged word in prison, that carries a lot of baggage – so most inmates rarely use the word. In FACT, most inmates would be quick to point out how they don’t HAVE any “friends” in prison – only “associates”.
I suppose that’s true for some people, but most of us actually do have friends in here, even if they prefer to call them associates, homeboys, bros – or just partners. A friend by any other name is still a friend.
Most of us tend to find like-minded people to socialize with. Sometimes it’s along racial lines, to start off with. But I’ve learned that the more grow as people, our circle of associates tends to grow with us – and they begin to intersect.
It’s no different for me. On a basic level, there are the other white guys I socialize with every day, because we tend to have the most in common. In addition, I generally seek out the guys (of all races) who read a lot, because we have books in common. Then there are the other music lovers, who I discuss music with – as well as where to FIND new music on the tablets. Of course, we also have the people who work with or around us. There are even guys I’ve developed friendships with (or at least, amiability) with, for no other reason than because we are both able to blurt out the correct answers before anyone else, when Jeopardy is on! =-)
The circles we move in tend to support each other – which is a good thing, since all we HAVE in here is each other. There is plenty of good-natured ridiculing and teasing within any group, and quite a few disputes will arise – but our friends are the people who will come to our aid in time of need, whether it be material or physical aid.
Just this morning, a guy asked me for a cup of water as he was sweeping the run. I stopped what I was doing and heated some up for him, because that’s what homeboys do. When it was ready, I asked one of HIS associates to carry it to him. I knew he wouldn’t mind, because that’s what homeboys do. He said, “He’s out in the hallway right now.” On second thought, he added, “No sense letting it get cold – I’m gonna drink this!”, and he proceeded to do just that, as THAT’S what homeboys do. But when the guy came back a few minutes later, he still had over half of his coffee waiting for him, because the guy wasn’t about to drink ALL of his coffee. That too is what homeboys do.
I’ve learned a lot about people (including myself) in all the years I’ve spent in prison. One of the most important lessons, in dealing with other people, is that it’s never a bad idea to be nice to somebody. Someone will always remember someone who, even if they had bad news to deliver, delivered it in the nicest way possible. Your attitude is just as important as your actions are, which is something to keep in mind as you interact with your peers.
The things that help me get along better with people in prison will be just as useful to me when I get out. Because if I can be a good person in here, I’ll be ” good people ” anywhere. So says DannyBoy.