DannyBoyinExile

Some people feel that if something CAN go wrong, it inevitably will. I try to be more positive than that (I mean positive-minded, not positive that something will go wrong!), but I too am subject to its effects. Murphy’s Law may not always be ACTIVE, but it’s always present – especially in TDCJ.
For example, just last week I was scheduled to be married – on the same day that the entire TDCJ was placed on lockdown. Thanks to our patient persistence, it did take place as scheduled. (The wedding, I mean.) (And the lockdown!)
Then we were told that visitation would be cancelled, EXCEPT for people who had already scheduled special long-distance visits. My wife came all the way from Germany, so we definitely met that criteria. Then Saturday morning comes, and as I’m getting ready for my visit – they tell us to pack our property, because the shakedown has finally made it to my wing. Which is crazy, because they NEVER do major shakedowns on weekends – but they are this weekend.
They generally always start on the bottom row (where I live), and I’m thinking that since my visit isn’t until 1pm, I should already be done with the search and be ready for visit by then. So of course they start on three row instead… Well, there’s nothing that I can do except pack all of my stuff and have everything ready – though I will probably be at visit when they get to my row, if they don’t cancel my visit altogether!
1pm comes, and I just leave my property (packed) in my cell – which is never a good idea, especially since the guards usually toss out anything that’s left in the cells!
I have my 4-hour visit, and sure enough, my row is in the gym being searched when I return. They allowed me to grab my property from my cell and go directly to the gym with it – as opposed to letting me just skip the shakedown, like I hoped… (just kidding)
I get to the gym, and of course I’m now the LAST person in line to get searched, which means I’ll be sitting, waiting, and sweating for hours before they get to me. I choose the shortest line possible, which isn’t exactly the best idea. Most inmates try to bypass the guards who are notorious for over-scrutinizing property, so the tables with the shortest lines are the ones that nobody else wanted to go to! I didn’t particularly mind that, as I didn’t have anything I wasn’t supposed to have, in the first place.
Everything went fine, and I got through it unscathed. Then I got out of there as quick as I possibly could, considering all the sodas I consumed during visitation!
But Murphy’s Law wasn’t through with me just yet. All of our mattresses are taken from us and X-rayed for contraband during shakedown – and of course, since I was one of the last people back, MY mattress was gone, and a sorry specimen of a mattress was left behind for me… No problem – I WORK in the mattress factory, so I shouldn’t have a problem getting a new one when we come up.
The ordeal is over for me now (the shakedown, if not the mattress), so now I can relax, read, and play with my tablet until every other wing is searched.
Things don’t ALWAYS go wrong, but they will, from time to time. Sometimes you’re the windshield, and sometimes you’re the fly! So says DannyBoy.