DannyBoyinExile

A friend of mine is a barber here, and mentioned that someone asked him about me the other day. Apparently some Hispanic guy came up to him and said, “Do you know DannyBoy?”
Of course, he told him, “Everybody knows DannyBoy. What about him?”
The guy could barely speak English, but he knew enough to say, “I want you to cut my hair like his!”
Hearing about this, I laughed and said, “Since I’m serving as your advertisement – shouldn’t I be entitled to a cut of the profits?”
The only cut I got from him was a haircut, but the story illustrates how hard it can BE to get a good haircut around here.
Every unit in TDCJ has its own barbershop, staffed with inmate barbers who do their best to ensure that all the inmates are able to be as clean-cut as they care to be. (Those of us who cut their hair at all, that is!)
Because of a recent court ruling, we don’t HAVE to cut our hair at all anymore, so about half of the inmate population has opted to grow their hair long. It’s not uncommon at all to see inmates with pony tails or afros. In fact, I think it’s more uncommon to see inmates stay as clean-cut as I do!
There are far more inmates than barbers, so the demand for haircuts is still pretty high. And they use the term “barber” very loosely, for sure. I’ve seen guys no experience whatsoever, who actually learned how to cut hair by practicing on their homeboys! Better them than me, because I won’t LET anyone cut my hair until I’ve seen their work on someone else’s head. I’ll shave my head bald before I’ll walk around with chunks of hair missing where they shouldn’t be (what we call a “plug” around here), and I prefer to keep my hair looking nice. Besides – there’s about a bald head that just makes me look even crazier than I already am!
Some barbers can only be trusted to cut your hair completely off – as in being shorn, like a sheep. And others are in high demand, because they are good at trimming the top, cutting a “fade” into the sides and back (“high and tight”, as they say in the military) – and blending the top into the sides, which is equally important.
An inmate barber is actually a pretty lucrative job, as it is a tradition to pay the guy a dollar or so for taking his time and cutting your hair the way you like it. Plus, really good barbers are pretty rare, as the best of them are often changed to being officer’s barbers. So when you find a good one, it’s a gesture of appreciation more than a fee, for cutting your hair right. It’s not uncommon for someone to want to know who cuts my hair – so they can start having him cut their hair too.
Some guys prefer to have their hair cut by hand, with a comb and a razor. You can break a shaver open, and affix one of the blades to the teeth of a comb – and each wing generally has at least one person who is adept at cutting hair this way. There HAVE been mishaps, where someone ended up with a plug missing (“Don’t worry – I can blend it in!”) or even a cut along their scalp – but it’s nothing that a piece of toilet paper can’t patch. And people generally know who to trust with their hair, and who to avoid at all costs. Of course, this method is illegal, and tends to be much messier than the barbershop. But many people prefer this method, even if it requires a lookout.
In one way or the other, most inmates are able to get their hair cut when they need to. And the people who “can’t” get a haircut aren’t trying very hard, and are usually the ones who don’t want one very bad in the first place. If you care about your appearance, you’ll find a way to get it done – but I can’t guarantee that your hair will look like mine! So says DannyBoy.