DannyBoyinExile

Someone asked me to explain exactly HOW inmates manage to light the cigarettes (and other substances) that they smoke so regularly, in institutions where smoking is strictly prohibited. Well, after going through all the trouble of obtaining something to smoke – ESPECIALLY something that gets you high – finding a way to light it is pretty easy.
Of course, some units are so festooned with contraband that they get in lighters ALONG WITH their cigarettes and drugs, which they then pass around and share with each other. (The lighters, I mean. The drugs? Not so much.) The guy with the lighter is considered to be a pretty lucky individual, because he gets to puff each person’s cigarette or joint, in exchange for lighting it. However, unlike cigarettes or drugs, lighters do contain metal components, which make them impossible to carry past a metal detector.
Necessity is said to be the mother of invention, though, and the solution to this came to be known as “popping a socket”. The Supreme Court was even kind enough to decree that each inmate’s cell MUST have access to electricity – and they may as well have just said, “Smoke ’em if you got ’em.”
First, you strip the wood from a standard pencil, by either biting or slicing it off with a razor, to get to the piece of lead (graphite, actually, which is close enough) at its center. Then you push a segment of it into each side of an electrical socket, and touch them together with yet another piece of lead, which creates an immediate pop (hence the name) and rewards you with a spark. This spark (miniature explosion may be a better term) is plenty powerful enough to catch your twisted piece of toilet paper (which is called a wick) on fire – and Voila! You are free to light your cigarettes, drugs, or anything else you care to burn.
This has been going on for years and years – and the standard mishaps still occur. The most common side effect is called “blowing the power”. That’s when an inmate causes such an explosion that he trips the breaker – then every cell on that particular circuit is without power. This of course causes an immediate outburst of yelling, screaming, and banging, so that the guard in the nearest picket can “flip the breaker” and turn the power back on.
Imagine when it’s over 100° outside – and even hotter in the cells! – and some idiot suddenly causes your fan to go off… Needless to say, many people have gotten their asses kicked over the years, for just that reason.
Sometimes an inmate won’t have access to a pencil, so he’ll resort to using razor blades, wires, or pieces of metal instead – with catastrophic results. In fact, Wynne Unit’s newest dumbest criminal just caused the largest explosion I’ve seen during my 30 years in prison! He literally BLEW UP his electrical socket – and pieces of it flew out and caught his cellie’s mattress on fire! Clearly, his cellie wasn’t very pleased about it, so he had to go… Now the guy is MY neighbor (and connected to my electricity), so let’s hope he was a “one-hit wonder”. It’s one thing to be an idiot, but it’s something else when OTHER people have to suffer because of it.
These are just the things we have to get used to, being in prison. Not selling us matches won’t stop smoking, any more than people would stop drinking whiskey because you stopped selling shot glasses! Where there’s a will, there’s a way. So the solution is to make people want better for themselves than wasting their money and potential on things like drugs and cigarettes – and that’s not a simple solution. Some people NEVER learn. But I did, so I hope other inmates will, too. So says DannyBoy.