DannyBoyinExile

It’s Christmastime again, and I’m glad to see that even in prison, the Holiday Spirit makes an appearance every now and then. I can’t say exactly what the Holiday Spirit consists of – but WHATEVER it is, they’re desperately trying to find it, by smoking, snorting, or swallowing just about every substance they can get their hands on.
During the past few weeks, dozens of inmates have been rushed to the infirmary on a stretcher, after smoking some nefarious substance – and being found on the floor, unresponsive. (Man Down.) At least one of them actually stopped breathing, and was only brought back after the prompt intervention of our medical personnel.
Because of this epidemic, the guards have understandably been more alert about paying attention to an inmate’s actual condition as they pass through the wing to count or do a security check – and quite regularly, they’ll find another inmate on the ground, unresponsive. One guy fell out on the run during count time ( ! ), and it wasn’t exactly hard to miss him, when everyone else returned to the dayroom – but he was on the floor, unconscious, with a puddle of blood around his head from where he landed on the concrete and busted it open. Man Down.
The administration’s response was to call in the “Regional Shakedown Team”. This is a special group of officers, who are almost like the Special Forces – and are the undisputed masters (specialists, in fact) of searching inmates and their property, to look for drugs and other serious contraband.
When a Unit’s administration calls them in, a far more comprehensive search will ensue – and the inmates dread them in particular, because of their thoroughness. They bring the serious K9 dogs (Belgian Malinois or German Shepherds, as opposed to the friendly Labs), as well as other specialist equipment, and chances are that they WILL find your contraband, no matter how well it’s hidden. They’ll search every single piece of property you possess – and leave your cell looking as if a tornado ran through it!
I was unlucky enough to experience this firsthand the other day, as my wing was one of the ones they were called to search, after a few people fell out or had toon attacks, and had to go to medical, back to back. It was even worse for me, because I was at work at the time, and could only return afterwards, after the damage was done.
I’m lucky to be able to say that they didn’t find anything in my cell (everyone wasn’t so lucky!) – but it wasn’t for lack of trying! I had papers, pens, books, and commissary scattered EVERYWHERE, but it was easily cleaned up, with no permanent damage. I mean, I knew they wouldn’t find anything because I didn’t HAVE anything, but it’s still tedious to deal with the hassle and stress, rather than coming in from work and taking an old-man nap, like I normally do!
Luckily, “Regional” finished what they came here to do, and moved on to the next unit on their hit list. I just hope that if the Holiday Spirit DOES make another appearance around here – it doesn’t bring the Regional Shakedown Team along with it! So says DannyBoy.