DannyBoyinExile

If there’s one thing that is nearly impossible for an inmate to earn (besides parole, that is!), it’s trust. By definition, our presence in prison is practically PROOF that we are not to be trusted. And when you fill a prison with untrustworthy people, all sorts of shenanigans will ensue (and not just from the inmates!). Some people become so cynical that they may NEVER trust anyone again – and I can’t say that I blame them.
In fact, as an inmate, one of the most common pieces of advice we give each other is to not trust ANYBODY. As a rule, that’s good advice to follow, as it’s about the only way to avoid having your trust broken. But that’s like advising someone not to love anyone, because that’s the only way to avoid having your heart broken!
They say that your reputation is the most valuable thing you possess (at least, it CAN be, depending on what your reputation is!) – and that’s especially true in prison. Sadly, the only way to find out if a person is trustworthy is to trust them. Since NOBODY wants to risk that, the second-best thing is to talk to the people who HAVE trusted a certain individual – and see how it worked out for them. They are usually extremely eager to tell you anything bad they have to say about someone. (Being untrustworthy is no secret, for sure.)
The other day I went to commissary, and ordered 15 stamps, along with my coffee and unhealthy snacks. About the time I got back to my wing, I realized that she never gave me my stamps. (So much for trust!) I returned to the window, and told her I didn’t get my stamps – and as soon as she recognized me, she said OK, and handed me ten stamps.
I said, “Ma’am – it was 15 stamps.” Without even bothering to double-check the receipt, she handed me five more stamps. That’s trust. If I had bamboozled her for any stamps, it would have eventually been discovered, and they’d have demanded I return them. But she knew that I wouldn’t even attempt to cheat her out of anything – and I wouldn’t.
Earning trust isn’t easy – and certainly isn’t quick – but it is AUTOMATIC, as long as you are consistently honest with people. Every day I make it a point to not lie to anyone, or do any sort of bad business with people. All it takes is consistency, and eventually there won’t be a single person around you who has ever seen you do anything sneak, sheisty, or underhanded. There are literally hundreds of people on this unit who would vouch for my character, if anyone asked about me. I am more proud of that than any award or certificate that TDCJ could present to me.
There are still people who don’t like me – even people who hate me. Some people will hate you simply BECAUSE you managed to earn the trust that has always eluded them. But if you put enough effort into being honest (or a good worker, a good husband, or just a good dude in general), people are bound to notice.
It feels good to know that I am trusted by the majority of the people I’m around – and that’s something I didn’t appreciate before I came to prison. Even the staff, while they may not ADMIT to trusting an inmate, didn’t hesitate to have me do all sorts things for them when I worked in the hallway that certainly IMPLIED their trust. I was always proud of the fact that they trusted me far more than they did the average inmate, because it was a sort of validation, that I have “fixed” myself (and my character) in a way that everyone else hasn’t.
When the Major here – and a couple of Captains as well – hire me to work directly for them, I know that I’m doing something right, even if they wouldn’t call it “trust”. And if a guy in my circumstances can improve his situation to that extent, there’s no reason that any of you can’t do the same thing. You just have to get started – earning trust, I mean, not coming to prison! So says DannyBoy.