DannyBoyinExile

One of the most important things we can learn as inmates is the art of resilience. By definition, we have stumbled in our lives, to be here in the first place. We will also undoubtedly face many obstacles while we’re here. It’s not easy to be an inmate, period. And it’s even less easy to overcome weaknesses that got us here, and IMPROVE ourselves to the extent that we are truly ready to get back out again without the fear of recidivism.
Quite simply, what DOES separate us, and makes some of us more capable of reforming ourselves, is our resilience. I remember a line from a movie, where one of the characters said that “tenacity is a superpower.” I immediately understood what she meant.
Resilience is also a superpower. If we can just learn to be confident in ourselves, and refuse to accept failure, then there is literally NOTHING we can’t achieve – and that includes getting out of prison. But it’s not easy to break the cycle of negativity that we find ourselves in. I can’t remember how many times I’ve seen another inmate face some sort of obstacle in prison – and completely give up. Rather than facing it, or finding a new goal to focus on, they instead turned to self-destructive things such as drugs, aggressive behavior, or even suicide.
There was one guy I always called George Clooney. Not because I thought he was the Sexiest Man Alive, of course (heaven forbid!), but because he actually resembled the guy. He worked in the ODR (feeding officers) for so long that it actually became a part of his identity! He relished the fact that most of the guards here looked at him differently as a result of his job – and I understand exactly how he felt, because I’ve been in the same situation myself.
One day we got a new Warden, and he (the Warden, not the ODR guy) decided to change every inmate’s job who had worked in the same place for “too long”, because if they got too comfortable there, it may pose a security risk.
So George Clooney’s job was changed (names have been changed, of course!) – and he was devastated. He went to lockup, where he promptly committed suicide, by hanging himself. He didn’t lack intelligence, clearly didn’t lack determination, and he always had a really good work ethic. But he lacked resilience, and that made all the difference.
Another guy’s wife left him – which is definitely nothing rare around here, but to him, it was all the excuse he needed to give up all the progress he had made in his recovery from drug addiction. He started smoking K2, snorting meth, and taking whatever random pills he could get his hands on, to drown out the pain he was feeling. A few weeks later, he ended up with some REAL dope (laced with fentanyl), and were found unresponsive in his cell. I don’t know if he actually died, or may have been resuscitated in a hospital. But he never came back to the Wynne Unit – so that’s not a good sign.
He was basically a good dude. He loved to read, could draw (and tattoo) just about anything, and knew a million corny jokes that he loved to share with people. He just wasn’t very resilient, when things didn’t go his way. He gave up, and went back to the same self-destructive behavior that got him here in the first place. I try to keep a sense of hope, that things will always get better, if only because I can MAKE them better. So when I find myself discouraged, I always remember that it’s only temporary. How I respond to events is entirely up to me, so I try to say resilient. If a simple blade of grass can keep spouting back up, no matter how many times it gets mowed down – I can, too. And that’s one of the best lessons I’ve learned in TDCJ.
It’s something I’d also like my readers to think about, because it’s just as important out there. Be resilient, adapt, and overcome. If he can learn a lot from a dummy, as they say, you may even be able to learn something from an inmate. So says DannyBoy.