DannyBoyinExile

I saw Spider Man in the shower the other day. I mean, I wasn’t TRYING to see him (I’m not one of THOSE guys!), but when someone comes and stands under the shower nozzle next to you, they are literally an arm’s length away. You can’t help but glance over to see who’s encroaching on you, since you’re feeling their water as it ricochets from them and onto you.
So I couldn’t help but notice that this guy had strings (which were actually strips torn from a sheet) tied all over his body! They encircled his arms, legs, back, shoulders – even his fingers and toes! I’m like, WTF? He’s probably the reason I only got about a half a sheet the last time I exchanged them, but aside from that – he’s NOT who I wanted to be standing beside me when I had water and shampoo running down my face!
You meet all types of characters in prison. Sadly, you meet all types of characters in the shower as well. (At least, on TDCJ’s oldest units.) It takes some getting used to, to shower in a communal shower with at least fifty other naked dudes. For some guys, it’s a meeting place. For others, it can be a marketplace – or even a trysting place! Some guys stand there and have conversations, and catch up on all the latest gossip, totally nude.
It’s true that there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, because none of them has anything that we ALL don’t have (except maybe rashes and ingrown toenails!), but I am generally in and out of there in a time that would make the US Army proud. Who wants to be there any longer than necessary, while the guy beside you is shaving his pubes, a guy behind you is blowing his nose onto the floor – and what the two guys in the corner are doing, I don’t even WANT to know! (Not to mention the other guy who’s tying strings around his body.)
Such is life, at least on the older units, where the showers are as public as a Roman bath. It can be chaotic at times, but you’d still rather have everyone go, than everyone NOT go. Showering is to be encouraged, at all costs – especially during the summer months.
At least the newer units in TDCJ (built after 1992) did away with the old-style showers. They contain single-man showers on every wing, so there is only one person in the shower at a time, unless it’s by choice! That’s also much more convenient for when you return from work, school, or recreation – and can jump immediately into the shower and get clean. There can be a line of inmates at times, who have each called “next!”, but that’s a small price to pay, for a little privacy.
As for me, I’m stuck on an old unit, showering with Spider Man. (Names have been changed, to protect the guilty!) I’m not hating on him – clearly he’s got issues. Maybe one of these days he too will be transferred to a newer unit, where he can change his strings in privacy. Until then, I just hope he does it somewhere other than next to me. I’m a nice guy, but if he leans over and asks ME to help him tie them – we’re gonna have problems. (And I don’t mean because I can’t see without my reading glasses!) haha So says DannyBoy.