DannyBoyinExile

Here on the Wynne Unit, we’ve decided that when an inmate does something truly idiotic (which means above and beyond the merely stupid things we see on a regular basis), their fellow inmates will “put them in the bowl”. This means that two other people will jump on them, simultaneously – and they WILL get mixed up as thoroughly as any batch of ingredients did in his mother’s kitchen!
Their objective is not to HURT the poor guy, but to teach him a lesson. If “no good deed goes unpunished”, then surely BAD deeds MUST be punished! Some people simply will not learn a lesson without it being pounded into their heads – and we are happy to oblige them.
If somebody does something stupid in his cell, that’s one thing. We simply can’t tell someone they can’t get high, for example. (The government has tried that – and it didn’t work for them, either!) But when it comes to smoking on the run, or in the dayroom, or having a toon attack anywhere other than your cell – you’re going into the bowl, to have some sense knocked into you.
Because when it comes to smoking in public, you are risking the entire wing being placed on lockdown. People have school, visits, jobs, or whatever else to accomplish, and it’s unacceptable to have all of that cancelled for one person’s stupidity. So we put them in the bowl.
We’ve found that it’s equally effective for other forms of stupidity as well. Say somebody gets caught reaching into someone else’s cell and stealing something. Rather than risk a huge confrontation that could quickly escalate – we’ll put his dumb ass in the bowl.
I’ve seen guys (ahem… not the smartest guys!) get mad about something and knock out a window or even smash the telephone in the dayroom. They may have reacted without thinking – but they’ll have more time to think about it in the bowl! I am happy to say that things are just a tad more orderly on Wynne Unit because of our efforts. If the administration writes someone a case for something, or places them on some sort of restriction, that may or may not work to prevent it from happening again. (Especially when it comes to someone who already has a life sentence to begin with!) The bowl, on the other hand, works. After getting beat up two or three times, for repetitive foolishness, they usually see the error of their ways, and change them. I’ve seen a few guys give up smoking altogether! And that’s not a bad thing – for them OR the rest of us.
Not everyone agrees, of course. But the only objections I’ve heard about are from the fools (and I mean that literally!) who find themselves IN the bowl. And it’s not exactly legal. I HAVE seen a wing or two go on a brief lockdown, after the staff saw an inmate who was visibly beat up. But when it’s said and done, I’m sure they respect the fact that we are handling our own, and trying to make our wing a better place to live.
I have seen a few bowl-ees object. One guy said he wasn’t gonna accept a bowl, and would “crash out” anyone who tried to jump on him. Wrong answer! Three guys ran in his cell, quickly beat him up, and left. If he INSISTED on pushing the issue, they would have ran him off the unit – but he knew that he was in the wrong.
It’s not uncommon for someone to dread the bowl so much that they’ll go to the rank’s office and ask to be moved, because “my life is in danger.” A few guys were unlucky enough to have the bowl waiting for them as soon as they GOT to their new wing, because they already knew why they got moved! Just about every wing has adopted the bowl policy, so hopefully they learned their lesson, because they won’t be smoking in public over there, either. We found a way to handle our problems, and eliminate not only the stupidity, but the repercussions that came with it. At least now, the only person facing repercussions will be the guilty party – and he brought it on himself. We all agreed to it, no exceptions will be made, and our own Neighborhood Watch is always on the lookout for it. You can like it or not, and it may not be entirely legal, but this is democracy in action, so I guess that’s the way it SHOULD be.
So says DannyBoy.