DannyBoyinExile

My wife is a virtual SLEUTH on the internet, especially when it comes to anything having to do with TDCJ or the Wynne Unit. So I wasn’t surprised when, a few months ago, she informed me that had a new Head Warden coming. “And they say he’s not a good communicator.”
Jokingly, I asked her, “What does that mean? He doesn’t speak English very well?”
She said, “It means he’s an asshole!” =-)
Fast forward a few months, and I have signed us up (me and my wife, I mean, not me and the new Warden) for our very first Family Day. I got a lay-in for the chapel, along with everyone else who was selected, and the Chaplain explained the day’s activities, and what would be expected of us.
In his speech, he spoke very highly of the new Warden. He told us how helpful he had been to facilitate the event, and how eager he was for these types of events to take place on the Wynne Unit.
Surprisingly, he even told us that he knew that some people thought he was “mean” and would use his power to deny these activities here – but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He even pointed out how much more helpful he’d been than the previous Warden – and it couldn’t have happened (much less grown, like it has) without his approval. Which he never hesitated to give, by the way.
I was lucky enough to BE one of the recipients of his approval, so I reason whatsoever for accusing him of not being a good communicator. I mean, he didn’t communicate with me at all – but he did make it happen.
This past Saturday I showed up for my first Family Day, and it was one of the best experiences I’ve had in TDCJ. There were approximately 75 inmates – with each being allowed up to two visitors – in the chapel together, with two families per bench.
I cannot overemphasize the importance of being able to sit on a bench with my wife for so long. We sat together, sang together, and ate together – but the ability to just BE together, side by side, allows you to bond with someone far better than a visit ever could.
They also had various activities throughout the day. (I suppose some spouses love each other so much that it just pisses them off, so it’s best to keep them occupied!) There were gifts handed out for random things, like the oldest person there, or the youngest, and the guy who’d been locked up the longest amount of time – which I thought I might actually win! But some guy “beat” me, who had been locked up for over 40 years… (Heck – he DESERVES that bag of candy!)
My wife was even embarrassed to be honored as the person who had traveled the furthest distance to be there. (All the way from Germany!)
So we (I mean, she!) won her own bag of candy. I told her that I felt sorry for her, because I knew she was embarrassed to go up front and speak in front of everybody, and she sensibly asked me, “Why didn’t you come with me?” Well, there was no sense in BOTH of us being embarrassed! haha
All of the day’s events were documented by several people who milled around and photographed everyone, and I was even “volunteered” to go on camera and explain what Family Day meant to me. Of course, my mind went blank at the time – as it usually does, after a meal of fried chicken and potato salad – but since then I’ve had time to reflect on it.
On Family Day, I felt more NORMAL than I have in a long time. (No offense, to you REALLY normal people!) When I was out there, I wasn’t just an inmate, and there was no “us versus them” between the inmates and the staff. We were even allowed to talk and mingle amongst the other families – which is also important. I know that my wife feels like I’m a good person, who has made mistakes, but still has potential – and a future. In that room, we realized that we were ALL that way, because we were all someone’s husband, son, brother, or father.The fact that we all matter to someone, who went through all the trouble to be there – not to mention the people who set it all up – is humbling. That helps us feel that we are part of the community again, and that realization itself does as much as any class can, to motivate us to not want to let them down. It’s a first-class reminder that our actions affect not just us, but the people who love us as well.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to attend the event, and I won’t soon forget it. I’m grateful for the volunteers who spent their time and money to make it happen – and I’m grateful to the Warden who allowed it to happen in the first place. I can’t speak on how good of a communicator he is or isn’t – but he gets things done, and that may be more important. So says DannyBoy.