DannyBoyinExile

The holiday season started off with a bang this year. My wing got in touch with the Christmas Spirit with some BOTTLED spirits – and we didn’t even make it to Christmas Eve without going on lockdown.
Why? Well, what happens on Wynne Unit stays on Wynne Unit… (just kidding) Practically the entire dayroom was either drinking, drunk, or babysitting drunk people. The usual shenanigans ensued – and someone even smuggled a radio and a speaker to the dayroom, which was our de-facto jukebox. It looked like nothing so much as a CANTINA in there, except without the dancing. (Well, not as much, anyway.)
The entire dayroom was probably doing something illegal, immoral, or against the rules – but at least everyone was getting along and enjoying themselves. Besides – it was Christmas.
Everything went fine until the Grinch (who was working in the hallway) spotted some sort of suspicious activity through the window – and called in a raid on us. I was talking to my brother on the phone (sorry, no dancing for me!) when a bunch of COs ran in and told us all to exit the dayroom so they could search it.
The scene reminded me of a government raid on a speakeasy, during the prohibition days – which it basically was! There was a frenzy of people grabbing things, stashing things, passing items out of the dayroom – or just trying to drink up the evidence as quickly as they could.
The poor guy with the jukebox had JUST FINISHED saying that he wasn’t about to lose his radio, because he had $200 in extra parts wired into it – and the Sergeant snatched it right out of his hand, as he tried to get it out of the dayroom. (The Sergeant’s Christmas started off with a bang, for sure!)
The inmate punched him right in the face a few times – then we ALL got gassed, since we’d already exited the dayroom while they searched it. They hauled the guy off in handcuffs (the inmate, I mean, not the Sergeant!), and we all went back to the dayroom. Briefly.
When the avalanche of COs swarmed onto the wing, responding to the incident, the rank immediately decided to place our wing on a 24-hour lockdown. (I can’t entirely blame them – if there was ever a wing that looked as if it needed to be racked up, it was ours.)
But a few (drunk) guys decided that we DIDN’T deserve to get locked down – and refused to do so. “We ain’t done nothing! That guy hit that Sgt by himself, and he went to jail by himself. Why are you punishing the rest of us, for nothing?”
The Lieutenant HAD to have laughed to himself at the absurdity of the guy’s statement. “What do you mean you ain’t done nothing? The whole dayroom is drunk, you’ve got wine out here, and even had a jukebox going! It looks like a cantina in here – and you ARE getting racked up, one way or another…”
There was a little more huffing and puffing (from both sides), but eventually a few people went upstairs – including myself – and that broke the tension. I saw no reason to refuse to leave the dayroom and get gassed (again) just because some guy’s radio got taken. That was HIS problem to deal with, and he did.
The drunk guy left the dayroom as well – and promptly found somebody else to jump on. He went to lockup, too. The rest of us got a brief vacation, and came out again on Christmas Eve, no worse for wear. They brought out the rest of their Christmas spirits, and picked up where they left off the day before, except without the speaker, and minus two knuckleheads.
A few guys puked, passed out, or had to be carried to their cells – but we all survived the ordeal, and put another Christmas behind us. I wouldn’t advise anyone to take part in this type of Christmas shenanigans, but sometimes when you’re in Rome, you can’t help but do as the Romans do. Then again, when Rome is going down in flames – maybe it’s best to keep your Roman butt in your cell… So says DannyBoy.