DannyBoyinExile

Many people out there might think of prison as a rough and tough place, filled with concrete, steel, and hard people – where the last thing they’d expect to see is inmates hugging one another. Alas, hugging is alive and well in TDCJ.
I happen to be a pretty sociable guy, who happens to know a lot of people. After 30+ years down here, I have no choice. I’m just one of those guys whose name happens to be mentioned a lot (and not always in a good way!), and there are many people who have known me for years, and even been on one or more other units with me.
When it comes to people like that, or people you’ve shared bonds and hectic experiences with (ahem… not the sexual kind!), a handshake simply will not do. Well, it’ll do for me – but when I greet someone like that, they inevitably reach an arm around me for a hug, and I have no choice but to reciprocate.
There are people here who have been in gangs together, been through wars together, and been through race riots together. When you’ve been in a whole dayroom of inmates fighting you, and only two people stood up to help you – you’d better believe that they deserve a hug, and not merely a fist bump, when you encounter each other again.
Even the Muslims (who are the religion of peace, after all) who stand guard over each other as they pray in the dayroom – immediately hug each other as they finish. All this hugging is showing affection, to be sure, but there are no homosexual overtones whatsoever, so there’s nothing to feel homophobic about.
But the gender benders, for sure, are gonna promote lots of hugging, wherever they happen to be. I can honestly say that I’ve never hugged a homosexual in all the years I’ve been in prison – until recently. I was on the rec yard, minding my own business and walking laps in between sets of pullups, when the gender bender I work with (Coco) summoned me. We talked politics for a few minutes (laundry politics, I mean, not gay ones!), and when I turned to leave he asked me, “Can I have a hug?”
I’m like, “Hell no, you can’t have a hug. Have you lost your mind?” He stamped his foot down and said, “GIMME A HUG!” Any further resistance was futile, so I merely leaned my head towards him, to allow him to hug ME – and I made my escape.
It didn’t kill me, give me any diseases, or make me gay – so I guess it didn’t hurt anything. Fast forward a month or two, and now he doesn’t just want, but EXPECTS a hug, every time I see him, coming and going! It was a little embarrassing for me, at first, especially when people would look at me like, “Damn – what the hell have THEY got going on?!”
A friend of mine saw me hugging him in the chow hall and said, “Hey! That’s entirely too much physical contact!” And I agree, by the way, but it never hurts to be nice. Of course, as I went to walk away, the friend of mine wanted a hug as well, and I couldn’t exactly refuse him – especially after he just saw me hugging a gender bender.
I firmly believe that Public Displays of Affection are more appropriate at a shopping mall than a prison, but there’s nothing wrong with us showing affection to each other. (As long as we don’t get TOO carried away with it, and end up like Coco!)
The last thing we want to do is grow hardened in here, to the point where we don’t (or can’t) show affection to people. It’s just part of being human. So the next time someone offers you a hug (or just looks like they need one!), go ahead and oblige them, and it may make both of you feel better. Besides – if we don’t love each other in here, noone will. So says DannyBoy.