DannyBoyinExile

Well, we got the shakedown over with, but not the lockdown. At least we’ve put the hard part behind us. Now all we have to do is wait on everyone else to be searched, and we can go back to normal operations. (Start reaccumulating contraband, in other words!)
Some inmates feel that the worst part of any lockdown is sitting around with nothing much to do, AFTER you’ve been searched, because basically all you’re doing is hurrying up and waiting – just like the Army. At least we have tablets to play with, or books to read, and they’re even passing out the eComms for the guys who were waiting on them. Many of us could stand to lose a few pounds on the sack meal diet – but at least the commissary leaves them with one less thing to complain about. (Although the chronic complainers usually have no problem finding something else to complain about, instead!)
To me, the hardest part of any lockdown is the shakedown itself. You have to pack up every last item of your property (what you plan on keeping, at any rate!), and tote it all the way to the gym, where they do the actual searching. Then you deal with the stress of all the things that were taken from you (that you shouldn’t have had in the first place), as well as the things you realize were thrown away erroneously, for no reason whatsoever.
Personally, all I lost was a washrag. It was a blue and white striped dish towel, that was blatantly contraband – so I couldn’t complain too much about that. But of course I did.
The lady told me, “All I threw away was your free-world washrag.”
When I asked her why, she looked at me as if I was mentally retarded. So I said, “That’s the only free-world thing I have left, and you TOOK it?”
She laughed when she realized I was joking, and that was the end of that. Sometimes we just accumulate things like that (finders-keepers?), and it was only a matter of time before they took it, regardless.
My new cellmate was recently moved from a wing that was already searched – so he had the privilege of going through the whole thing again! Apparently they somehow lost one of his boots when he went to lockup, and he found himself with only one boot to wear to the gym. I was kind enough to let him wear my state-issued boots, of course. I was even kind enough to let him borrow BOTH of mine, rather than asking if he needed to borrow the left or the right boot…
The COs doing the searching immediately noticed the extra boot. We all got a laugh when they asked him, “What (the hell) are you doing with THREE boots?” I probably would’ve made a joke about needing a spare, since I tend to kick a lot of ass with my right foot. But he explained that situation, and made it through just fine. Luckily for him, he made it through with his boot AND mine – or I’d have gotten a chance to practice said ass-kicking! (just kidding)
A few other guys lost the various random items that inmates always lose during shakedowns. Radios, fans, and hot pots with no property papers. Bottles of glue or tattoo ink. Rolls of tape, pornographic pictures, colored pens, extra clothes, etc – but our wing as a whole didn’t do too bad. Throughout the lockdown, I saw a few guys being escorted down the hall in handcuffs, but at least they were from from other wings, so it was their problem, and not ours.
Now we’re just relaxing! In a few days the entire unit will be done, so that gives us plenty of time to get our cells clean and reorganized. There’s nothing pleasant about a lockdown OR a shakedown. But after seeing the MOUNTAINS of trash and unwanted property that were tossed out, maybe it’s a good thing that we go through it regularly. A little spring cleaning never hurt anybody – even if they have to FORCE some people to do it. Now we’ll have six months to accumulate as much excess property, junk, and contraband as we can – then we’ll go through the same thing again. It’s just another part of prison life, and it’s up to me to make the best of it. So says DannyBoy.