DannyBoyinExile

I recently went to the dentist here, to repair a filling that had broken and fallen out of my tooth. I’m generally reluctant to visit the dentist, and typically postpone it until I can’t stand it anymore. My rationale is that if it doesn’t hurt – but going to the dentist WILL hurt – I might as well “laugh now and cry later”, as they say.
But I hated the thought of potentially LOSING the tooth, rather than simply refilling it, so I took one for the team – at the cost of $13.55, which was promptly snatched from my commissary account.
When I arrived, I discovered that we had a new dentist: a tall, young black girl, as opposed to the short, older Asian girl I saw last time. (Although it honestly didn’t matter WHAT she looked like, as long as she displayed some competence while poking and prodding in my mouth!)
I noticed right away that she was really, really nice. She was polite, she was conscientious, and really paid attention to your answers after asking a question – which isn’t always my experience when dealing with medical personnel, by any means.
She wasn’t simply polite. Her niceness was so striking that I felt compelled to pay her a compliment. ” Ma’am, you look very nice in those tight pants.” (just kidding!) What I actually said was, “You know what? You are a very, very nice lady.”
She immediately beamed a smile at me. “Thank you! That’s nice of YOU, to say so – though my husband may not agree with you…”
I knew exactly what she meant. Every time I go to visit, the COs are always telling me, “I love your wife! She is so nice.”
To which I’d reply, “Which one do you think is my wife? You may be thinking of the wrong lady!” haha
The point is, if you can put just a little effort into being nice to people – they WILL notice. And most of us tend to reciprocate, when it comes to the way people treat us. When someone is as nice to me as the dentist was, I couldn’t even imagine myself being mean to them. (Though that is subject to change when she starts wielding her dental instruments on me!)
Even in prison, I’ve learned how important your demeanor is – because people respond to it. So I make it a point to never be negative, or abrasive, when dealing with other people. I have defused many potential conflicts, simply because of the way I carry myself. If you go out of your way to be polite to someone, or helpful, or just have a good attitude and be respectful to them in general, not only them, but anybody else in your vicinity will notice it as well.
The same applies to guards as well as inmates. Some people are just so nice, all the time, that we will immediately take their side if we see them having a dispute with someone. If a person is willing to take the time to be polite to someone – even when they were originally wronged in the first place – they simply DESERVE to be treated better for it.
Niceness isn’t everything, for sure. I mean, niceness won’t win any wars, and won’t resolve every conflict. But it just may prevent lots of wars, if we’d pay more attention to how we treat other people to begin with.
Alas, the filling that the nice lady just put in my tooth has already fallen out, so I have to go through the ordeal all over again. But I’m not at all upset about it, and don’t dread the thought of having to return to the dentist, BECAUSE of her niceness.
Ultimately, we can’t control the way other people treat us. But it’s a fact, that people will generally treat us the way WE treat THEM – and I can control that, for sure. I’ve learned that it’s never a bad idea to keep your mouth shut – unless you’re in the dentist’s office. But it’s never a bad idea to be nice to someone, either. So says DannyBoy.