DannyBoyinExile

After recently undergoing yet another unit shakedown, where all of our property is searched for contraband, I’m again reminded of just how far an inmate will go to stretch a dollar. I mean – it just may be possible that copper wire was invented by an inmate trying to stretch a penny as far as he possibly could! (just kidding)
I just witnessed inmates with shoes so old (and so thoroughly repaired) that they resembled the Chucky doll from the horror movies more than anything Reebok would ever claim.
I saw guys with T-shirts and thermals (“long-johns”) so dingy that they were far more khaki than white. Not to mention the ones that have been bleached so many times (and have grown so thin) that they look more like a cobweb than an actual T-shirt.
And you have never heard a five-year-old cry as hard as an inmate, when they tried to confiscate said items from them during a shakedown! I’ve seen inmates throw a tantrum to the point that they went to LOCKUP – before they’ll hand over a shirt that they’ve had for at least twenty years. (Clearly you grow attached to something, after it lasted longer than your last two marriages did!)
Some inmates are repulsed by the idea of throwing ANYTHING away, and tend to collect so much worthless property (junk, literally) that they look like a homeless person pushing their belongings around in a shopping cart – except they drag it on their sheet or blanket instead.
It’s because of them that the rest of us have to endure “the box”. What that is, is a plastic crate which is roughly the size of an inmate’s locker. Theoretically, all of our property is supposed to fit in that box, during a major shakedown.
There are many exceptions, though. Your clothing and shoes don’t have to go in the box. Neither do any of your electrical appliances. You can even skip any legal work or school-related books. All of your other property, though – such as commissary items, novels, paperwork, bundles of old love letters (not necessarily from the free world!) and pictures, hygiene items, and everything else you possess, should fit into the box.
But there’s hope for the hoarders and packrats around here. Said boxes don’t have lids on them. So it’s almost a game to see just how high you can stack your property ONTO the box, if not technically IN it.
Most COs show just a little leniency here. I mean, who’d want to deprive a poor guy of all his art supplies or his collection of books and National Geographic magazines he’s been accumulating for the last fifteen years?
One guy had a stack of old newspapers at least five feet high, that he REFUSED to part with, even though roaches had clearly established a colony therein. “I paid money for these! Go home and throw YOUR stuff away!”
For the rest of us, though, these shakedowns are at least an opportunity for us to de-clutter a little bit. MOUNTAINS of trash are thrown out, as well as the contraband that is jettisoned beforehand.
Of course, every time we come out for chow or showers, there are a handful of guys poking through the trash, looking for items that they can use, sell – or just add to their own junk collection. It has been said that, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” In TDCJ, on the other hand – one man’s trash is another man’s STASH!
As for me, I’m blessed to not have to dig through the trash when I need something – I have my wife to thank for that. When anything of mine gets old or worn out (besides me, I mean!), I’ll buy a new one, and give the old one to someone who needs it more. My life may not be perfect, but we can always find something to be thankful for, if we’d only look. That’s one thing that applies in here as much as it does out there. So says DannyBoy.